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Elegy on Cancer (221)


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This morning I heard the sad news that the wife of one of my old childhood neighborhood pals lost her battle with cancer. Seeing that post on my Facebook feed immediately took me back to you, and how much I hate cancer for taking you from me! Cancer is like a devastating tornado that roars through leaving a swath of death and destruction in its wake. It is staggering to think about the number of people whose lives have been impacted by this horrible disease! It strikes in so many ways along a continuum of time from initial diagnosis, through active treatments, surgeries, recoveries, remissions, relapses, palliative and ultimately hospice care stages. In some cases, the entire timeline is interminable, lasting years or even decades; while in others, there might only be a matter of weeks or months.


Oncology treatments themselves are quite literally a balancing act between slowing the growth of cancer cells and not killing the patient from the devastating effects on internal organs and other debilitating side effects of the drugs and radiation used. Fatigue, weakness, pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, hair loss, neuropathy, skin changes, sensitivities to cold or light, confusion, and brain fog are the most common side effects of conventional chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Some of these effects are temporary, but sometimes they are long-term or even permanent. Many patients suffer through some portion of the treatments only to find them ineffective and don’t make it. Some patients survive the cancer but are never the same from the after-effects of the treatments. Some lucky few respond to the treatments and live “cancer-free” for some time only to have it return or show up with a vengeance somewhere else in their body. No one gets out unscathed!


In addition to the patient, cancer also wreaks havoc on the family members and friends of the patient. A surviving spouse, children, parents, and siblings could easily number 8-10 grieving people in the immediate family alone, not to mention countless other extended family, friends and acquaintances who are impacted by the loss.


Finally, beyond the grief of those remaining after the end of the journey, there is also a significant toll along the way of being a caregiver. The 15 months I spent in this role for you was the hardest and most physically and emotionally demanding time of my life. There is probably a future essay to be written on this topic; but even now, seven-and-a-half months later, I am not yet ready to write it. It is impossible for someone who has not gone through this to fully understand and appreciate the full scope of its course. Suffice it to say, for now, that I will never be the same for having gone through that experience with you.


So, today I mourn for the loss of my friend’s wife to cancer; and I lift him and all the family who are now starting their grief journey up in prayer asking for God’s peace and comfort to surround and sustain them in the days, weeks, and months ahead. Furthermore, I am sad and angry at what cancer has taken from me and so many others; and for the pain and destruction it wreaks on everyone in its path. While I know that there is likely not a “silver bullet” cure for all cancers, I long for the advances in technology and medicine needed to develop more effective treatments with fewer side effects. I long for a world less ravaged by cancer!

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