Recently Alyson posted some pictures from a photo shoot she did in the San Juan Islands, WA, and it made me reminisce about the last family trip we took there in October 2022. After finding out surgery was not an option after all the chemo and radiation treatments you endured for the prior 12 months, you made the decision not to do any further conventional oncology treatments. We planned this family trip to get far away from the center of our cancer universe and flew out to Seattle to see the place where Alyson has chosen to live and spend a week in the San Juan Islands in the upper northwestern tip of Washington.
We rented a rustic house on the Sound on Lopez Island and spent an amazing week together exploring the beautiful secluded coastal area. We spent the days catching ferries to hop the islands and go on hikes through the coastal forests and wild rocky coastline and beaches or walking through the streets and quaint shops of the island tourist spots. Our nights were spent doing the things you loved: cooking and sharing meals together followed by playing cards or other games or sitting around a bonfire making s’mores and laughing and loving under the stars of the northern sky. You also started your bucket list of riding a horse in as many states as possible on this trip by picking up Washington. It was truly a wonderful and memorable week! But I think we all knew it might be the last time we would all be together ahead of the cloud of your cancer’s inevitable course.
You and I spent the next week with Hailey and Davis in Ft. Collins to visit them and see their lives there. We enjoyed a memorable drive into the mountains on the Poudre Canyon Road and lunch at “the Mish”, as well as hanging out at the laid-back local breweries and parks in Ft. Collins. We made a day trip to Laramie, Wyoming so you could ride a horse in another new state.
At the end of this wonderful 2-week trip, while on the flight home from Denver, I watched you and realized that this would likely be the last one we would be taking. I realized you weren’t going to be able to finish your horseback bucket list. The toll of this horrible disease and the toxic treatments you endured was too much. Thanksgiving came a month later and we were all together again, but by then you were slipping away and fell into a state of “terminal restlessness” which landed you back in the hospice care facility where you spent you last 10 days.
The time span between this last family trip and the end was less than 2 months. The more I think about it, the more I think this trip was more than just a gift of cherished family time together. I believe it was your last surge to take in the energy of our family’s love to sustain you to the end and carry you to the other side. I’m thankful that we could give you that. I’ve also been thinking that I would like to go back to those islands someday soon and re-trace our steps.
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