Sometimes as I walk down to the barn to feed the horses, I stop at the horse trailer and open the door of the living quarters and peek inside. Sometimes, I step inside and climb up onto the bed and just lay there; partly admiring my remodeling handiwork, but mostly to be with you.
There is so much of you in that small space. Your hats, vests, and jackets are still hanging on the hooks; your boots are on the floor; and gloves and other riding and camping gear are stowed in the compartments. Though I have relocated the TV, refrigerator, and portable toilet to my shop in the garage, there are still books and DVDs and other personal items on the corner shelves. And there are hair clips and chapsticks or lip balm strategically located throughout the cabin to always be within hands reach.
This little oasis inside a horse trailer was special to you. Together with the horse compartment, it was a mobile fortress of solitude which allowed you a temporary escape from the pressures and frustrations of life to just go away with your horse. You always said you wished I would have gone horse camping more with you. And I do regret that I didn’t go more often. But part of me always felt that you needed that time and space alone, and that I would have been an interloper.
I think sometime soon I will hook up the truck and trailer, load up Jake, and Cassie and head over to McCulley Farm and spend a peaceful weekend in the horse trailer. I hope you will meet me there!
❤️ from Julie T