The wind chimes on the front porch are striking their inharmonic chords with the gentle breeze. This collection of suspended tubes, clapper, and sail give a melodic voice to the wind and dance with the intensity of the gusts.
These chimes were given as a memorial gift for you and the sail is engraved, like a floating headstone, with your name and the span of your too short life and a poignant Winston Churchill quote on one side and the words “Listen to the wind and know that I am near” on the other.
Like the candle burning in my bedroom, these chimes are symbolic of my grief. At times the wind is still, and the chimes are silent, with no voice. As a ship in the doldrums, sometimes your absence is numbing, and it feels like I am stuck.
Sometimes the breeze is gentle and steady, and the chimes sing softly. Other times they ring out with frenetic energy and voice as both the sail and tubes dance with random gusts. So, it is with the pain and sadness of memory and loss of you.
Tomorrow marks two months since you died. The grief books say we should use that word rather than “passed on” or “left us”. It sounds harsh, but the reality is that you are physically gone; and while you will be forever in our memory, the “normal” of our life together is gone. Grief is the passage or journey that takes us from the old normal with you to a new normal without you.
Today the chimes are ringing loudly…
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